The constant shouting,
The never ending sequence of sharp words,
The painful inconsistencies,
THEY ALL KILL.
Slowly her heart weakens after every episode of rage
Noticeably she loses all strength to continue
Desperately she puts herself together to keep going
I see her losing her identity and desire to live
I see the loss of hope, the loss of faith
But in the midst of all this, I write
I write a story of a broken woman
One who puts everyone before herself
Amazingly a small glimpse of Christ is seen through her
She needs him though
Her light is losing its shine
She's getting dimmer
She's lost joy
She is lost
JESUS, HURRY!
Don't let her light die out
She needs to see victory
Even if she's victorious in tears
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Sixth Droplet: I Can't Turn Away
Lately, I've been struggling in a handful of areas in my life. In some ways I have felt overwhelmed with responsibilities and to some extent fed up with expectations from those surrounding me. For a while these things have made me want to rebel and turn away from everything. But there is someone who holds me back from doing so. Enjoy this piece of poetry.
It’s like sometimes I just want to turn away
It's like I don’t want to do what you say but what I say
It’s like I want to throw myself in to what you prohibit me
from doing
It’s like I want the gratification that is unspoken about
But at the same time that is not who I am
But at the same time it’s like you’ve changed my identity
And I am incapable of changing what you have made me
It’s like I am no longer myself and I no longer live for me
It’s like what you have created cannot be changed
It’s like I am yours
But it’s like I try to be someone who I’m not
However it is my identity in you who sustains my living
It’s like you’re the only one who my inner most being is
passionate for
It’s like I have no other alternative
Because I've already found that which completes me
And that is you
My unfailing beautiful marvelous father
I ask for redemption
I ask that you would help me embrace that identity that you
have given me
I am your daughter
I am your Life
I am your servant
And I love you
I ask for forgiveness because too often I caress the idea of
rebelling against you
For reasons I cannot articulate
But no matter how hard I try to be someone else
My knees kneel before you in awe because
You simply love me anyway
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Fifth Droplet: CONQUERED BY HIS SPIRIT
How could I possibly question you?
You have me in a place where I would have never imagined
How could I lose sight of your unfailing love and control?
A week of confusion sadness and disappointment
Forgetting that there is no one more purposeful than you
Killing and beating my insides
Your spirit is making its way to the center
Declaring a destiny and an authority greater than any manmade dream
My selfish desires are cringing at the light of your meaning in my life
They slowly surrender kneeling at your glory
Accepting the commands of the higher one
Running back to stick to the cross
My sins are again cruxified
Farewell to the dark and unworthy ways of my nature
Now I have something completely renewed
Your spirit who is restoring me and the scars in my interior who are in need of healing
They are clearing
Killing and beating my insides
Your spirit has made its way to the center
The center of my purposeful existence
Your unfailing love surrounds and embraces me
All I can say is thank you, I will worship you
"How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! "
- Hebrews 9:14
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Fourth Droplet: TRASH
So today, October 29th is a special day. Not only because it's the first day it snows in Pennsylvania (this new year), but because I have a message to give to whatever teen or young adult that decides to come to the Youth Service at my church today.
A few days ago I was told about the service by my pastor. And by the time my pastor and I exchanged texts, I went to the computer and words, videos and verses made their way to a Powerpoint Presentation. God is good.
I practiced the message a couple of times in front of my mirror and I was satisfied. I thought, "Yeah, this could touch some folks."
The subject is TRASH.
I plan to begin speaking on how we often go to church or any spiritual gathering and we don't understand anything and end up leaving exactly the same way we came in. Sure, I'll blame some speakers who seem to think everyone understands preacher jargon, lets be honeset sometimes speakers don't think about the background knowledge of every one else.
However, I will continue by stating that many times it is our OWN fault that we don't understand or pay attention. Why? Well, its simply because of all the TRASH we're carrying. It's because the things that we prioritize in our lives are so LOUD and DISTRACTING that there is NO way we can hear God in his attempts of reaching us. We're blocked by so many things, whether material things or acceptance or our image or whatever. These things don't allow us to focus for half hour to hear what God has to say.
I'll continue with what kinds of things are the ones that block us from seeing God's plan for us, then will go on about the things God has to offer and how he will help us let go of our TRASH.
So, this morning I'm in my room taking some time to worship God and to get lost in prayer. And this rush comes over me and my voice cracks and I start to shout my prayers along with a river of tears. I shouted to the Lord that he would help ME let go of all my trash and concerns that have nothing to do with HIM. And I prayed fervently for my family and friends who I knew lacked a whole-hearted relationship with HIM. But I was so moved by the Spirit that I realized, before I speak about this I need to ask Jesus to help ME let go of my trash.
How can you ask people to let go of something that you're still holding on to?
God has a way of speaking. I was currently blocking what God was telling me by being worried about delivering a good speech. Yet, the whole time God was showing me that in order to lead people to HIM, I need to be led by HIM.
Praise the Father for his works, let us let go of whatever is blocking us from receiving his word and blessings.
A few days ago I was told about the service by my pastor. And by the time my pastor and I exchanged texts, I went to the computer and words, videos and verses made their way to a Powerpoint Presentation. God is good.
I practiced the message a couple of times in front of my mirror and I was satisfied. I thought, "Yeah, this could touch some folks."
The subject is TRASH.
I plan to begin speaking on how we often go to church or any spiritual gathering and we don't understand anything and end up leaving exactly the same way we came in. Sure, I'll blame some speakers who seem to think everyone understands preacher jargon, lets be honeset sometimes speakers don't think about the background knowledge of every one else.
However, I will continue by stating that many times it is our OWN fault that we don't understand or pay attention. Why? Well, its simply because of all the TRASH we're carrying. It's because the things that we prioritize in our lives are so LOUD and DISTRACTING that there is NO way we can hear God in his attempts of reaching us. We're blocked by so many things, whether material things or acceptance or our image or whatever. These things don't allow us to focus for half hour to hear what God has to say.
I'll continue with what kinds of things are the ones that block us from seeing God's plan for us, then will go on about the things God has to offer and how he will help us let go of our TRASH.
So, this morning I'm in my room taking some time to worship God and to get lost in prayer. And this rush comes over me and my voice cracks and I start to shout my prayers along with a river of tears. I shouted to the Lord that he would help ME let go of all my trash and concerns that have nothing to do with HIM. And I prayed fervently for my family and friends who I knew lacked a whole-hearted relationship with HIM. But I was so moved by the Spirit that I realized, before I speak about this I need to ask Jesus to help ME let go of my trash.
How can you ask people to let go of something that you're still holding on to?
God has a way of speaking. I was currently blocking what God was telling me by being worried about delivering a good speech. Yet, the whole time God was showing me that in order to lead people to HIM, I need to be led by HIM.
Praise the Father for his works, let us let go of whatever is blocking us from receiving his word and blessings.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Third Droplet: SEEKING
These past couple of days, I've been thinking a lot about the passage where Jesus says, "Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened..."
This passage reveals a promise from our heavenly savior. Like I've written in my previous posts, when we get used to hearing something, it won't make so much effect.
Take a moment and just think about God and all the blessings He has given you. Think about the size of the Earth and the greatness of our universe. If you believe that He exists and has created all of this, then you should trust His word and believe that He will be faithful.
Seek and you will find. How many times haven't you thought, "God, isn't listening" or "I don't feel Him." Sometimes, we must understand that God makes us wait to produce patience or sometimes it's just not the right time. But other times, be honest, you haven't really sought!
Many times that is the problem. We expect God to come through instantly, but we don't do our part. As I told my friend yesterday, Jesus didn't say "Sit and I'll do all the work."
I know most if not all of us, have met people who physically reflect their purity and their peace. They are on "another level" of spirituality. We can admire these people, but we shouldn't limit ourselves thinking that we can't experience God as they are! The key is to insist, I mean: not pray once a month and read the bible once a year. I mean, really learning who God is, walking in integrity and seeking His will above all.
God calls us to seek, to knock. God desires to hear you, to become a part of you. Jeremiah 33:3, another well-known passage says "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you don't know (NIV)."
These scriptural promises should be more than sufficient encouragement for us to step up and seek God. We cannot just think about what it would be like to seek God.
Let's stop imagining and put God's promises to the test.
Remember that God was faithful before He'll be faithful again. Seek and you WILL find.
This passage reveals a promise from our heavenly savior. Like I've written in my previous posts, when we get used to hearing something, it won't make so much effect.
Take a moment and just think about God and all the blessings He has given you. Think about the size of the Earth and the greatness of our universe. If you believe that He exists and has created all of this, then you should trust His word and believe that He will be faithful.
Seek and you will find. How many times haven't you thought, "God, isn't listening" or "I don't feel Him." Sometimes, we must understand that God makes us wait to produce patience or sometimes it's just not the right time. But other times, be honest, you haven't really sought!
Many times that is the problem. We expect God to come through instantly, but we don't do our part. As I told my friend yesterday, Jesus didn't say "Sit and I'll do all the work."
I know most if not all of us, have met people who physically reflect their purity and their peace. They are on "another level" of spirituality. We can admire these people, but we shouldn't limit ourselves thinking that we can't experience God as they are! The key is to insist, I mean: not pray once a month and read the bible once a year. I mean, really learning who God is, walking in integrity and seeking His will above all.
God calls us to seek, to knock. God desires to hear you, to become a part of you. Jeremiah 33:3, another well-known passage says "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you don't know (NIV)."
These scriptural promises should be more than sufficient encouragement for us to step up and seek God. We cannot just think about what it would be like to seek God.
Let's stop imagining and put God's promises to the test.
Remember that God was faithful before He'll be faithful again. Seek and you WILL find.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Second Droplet: WALKING IN THE SPIRIT
Aren't our planners crammed with things to do and errands to run? I know mine usually is. Sometimes being so busy is detrimental to our growth in spirituality.
How so?
When I think about days where I'm really overwhelmed with work, I get so focused on getting things done, that I completely ignore everything else around me, even people.
Today I decided to rest. I took about an hour and sat in the front yard with my bible and the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan (BUY IT, LIVE IT, IT'S AMAZING). I also had a notebook and a pen. I started writing down my prayers and I simply started asking God to help me walk in the spirit.
After this I continued to read Luke, I'm determined to read all gospels (two down, two more to go). And I noticed in chapter four verse one it said, "Jesus, led by the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit..."
God has not set us out alone in this world to suffer for our sins. He has given us the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide us and to bless us.
Galatians 5:22-23 is a text most people know, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
It's such a beautiful thing to experience these fruits!
Today as I prayed to walk in the Spirit, I looked at everything around me and began to reflect. And after reading a couple of chapters of Luke, I got up and just contemplated the great hill filled with trees in front of my house and then the sky.
I paused. I saw the great beautiful sky with different shaded clouds. All I could think was, "How in the world could someone believe that this beauty and the diversity of the Earth was created by molecular collision or explosion, or whatever nonsense it is...?"
And I was just so filled with joy and I praised God in my heart, because I knew the Spirit within me was revealing the blessings that we ignore when we don't take the time to pause.
"Cristina, filled with the Holy Spirit, got up from her chair, and led by the Spirit contemplated the beauty that her God has created..."
Can you walk in the Spirit and make your version of this verse?
Praise God for the blessings we receive through the Holy Spirit.
How so?
When I think about days where I'm really overwhelmed with work, I get so focused on getting things done, that I completely ignore everything else around me, even people.
Today I decided to rest. I took about an hour and sat in the front yard with my bible and the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan (BUY IT, LIVE IT, IT'S AMAZING). I also had a notebook and a pen. I started writing down my prayers and I simply started asking God to help me walk in the spirit.
After this I continued to read Luke, I'm determined to read all gospels (two down, two more to go). And I noticed in chapter four verse one it said, "Jesus, led by the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit..."
God has not set us out alone in this world to suffer for our sins. He has given us the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide us and to bless us.
Galatians 5:22-23 is a text most people know, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
It's such a beautiful thing to experience these fruits!
Today as I prayed to walk in the Spirit, I looked at everything around me and began to reflect. And after reading a couple of chapters of Luke, I got up and just contemplated the great hill filled with trees in front of my house and then the sky.
I paused. I saw the great beautiful sky with different shaded clouds. All I could think was, "How in the world could someone believe that this beauty and the diversity of the Earth was created by molecular collision or explosion, or whatever nonsense it is...?"
And I was just so filled with joy and I praised God in my heart, because I knew the Spirit within me was revealing the blessings that we ignore when we don't take the time to pause.
"Cristina, filled with the Holy Spirit, got up from her chair, and led by the Spirit contemplated the beauty that her God has created..."
Can you walk in the Spirit and make your version of this verse?
Praise God for the blessings we receive through the Holy Spirit.
Friday, June 17, 2011
First Droplet : LOVE
God is love. Amen. Amen? Sure, we've heard this since we could remember.
God is love. When we grasp just a droplet of the meaning of His love, our lives will be transformed.
God is love. This love is not just any love. It's a love that hurts. A love that makes a sacrifice. A sacrifice of a son. Unfortunately we aren't as sensitive to the idea since we're so used to hearing it.
God is love. You and I have life because He is a loving creator.
I am reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This book has ministered to my life. It speaks about loving God.
When I say "loving God," what comes to your mind?
"Ugh, commandments?" "Darn it, I have to pray more?" "I don't like reading scripture...?"
The love that I am searching for with God, is an honest love. Where I fall in love with WHO He is and EXAMINE His positive attributes.
Falling in love with God should be the ultimate goal. Once you fall in love, sacrifices will come naturally to you.
Matter of fact, it won't seem like a sacrifice. When I say love, I mean LOVE. I mean getting to know the creator and building right relationship.
Receive this spiritual droplet and pray.
God, I pray that you would help me learn who you are and fall in love with you. God help me so that I can spend time with you and do what you want in my life. Let me experience real love. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
God is love. When we grasp just a droplet of the meaning of His love, our lives will be transformed.
God is love. This love is not just any love. It's a love that hurts. A love that makes a sacrifice. A sacrifice of a son. Unfortunately we aren't as sensitive to the idea since we're so used to hearing it.
God is love. You and I have life because He is a loving creator.
I am reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This book has ministered to my life. It speaks about loving God.
When I say "loving God," what comes to your mind?
"Ugh, commandments?" "Darn it, I have to pray more?" "I don't like reading scripture...?"
The love that I am searching for with God, is an honest love. Where I fall in love with WHO He is and EXAMINE His positive attributes.
Falling in love with God should be the ultimate goal. Once you fall in love, sacrifices will come naturally to you.
Matter of fact, it won't seem like a sacrifice. When I say love, I mean LOVE. I mean getting to know the creator and building right relationship.
Receive this spiritual droplet and pray.
God, I pray that you would help me learn who you are and fall in love with you. God help me so that I can spend time with you and do what you want in my life. Let me experience real love. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Psalms 18: 1 I love you, LORD, my strength.
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